CHOICES: Cindy's Story

Recent grad Cynthia Goad has been through many changes in her life in the last year. The following video was made at graduation, as Cynthia told how Advance Memphis helped to restore her hope.



Cynthia shared a bit more of her life story here:
My mother died at a very young age and I was basically the outcast of my family when my father remarried. I always felt as if I never “fit in” anywhere, always trying to please others. When I felt as if I could never do right, I ended up being a very resentful, sad and rebellious child. I ended up getting addicted to drugs, doing criminal activities and just not caring if I lived or died. I had no hope and had given up on myself, my family and even God. After attempting suicide a couple of times (and failing at that), I just felt as if I couldn’t go on anymore. I fell to my knees and asked God for forgiveness and guidance.

I ended up at a Drug and Alcohol Treatment center in Jackson, Ms. While there, I searched some programs that I would be able to attend and came back home to Memphis. I was led to Advance Memphis. I am a graduate of the Jobs for Life class and I have never felt better about myself. I have learned so much about God and the Bible. I have also learned about budgeting, perfecting my resume and how to properly speak and act during a job interview. To me, the best part of Advance Memphis is all the encouragement and inspiration that I receive. When there are days that I get discouraged about not yet being employed, all I have to do is walk into the building and see all the smiles and care that is genuinely from the heart. When I reach an obstacle, there are sincere people who are ready and available to provide suggestions and recommendations.
Today, I have hope and a plan for my future.

She also wrote the following poem. She wanted to share it with her graduation class, and was kind enough to allow us to share it on the blog.

Choices
Some people sit, some people try.
Some people laugh, some people cry.
Some people will, some people won't.
Some people do, some people don't.
Some people believe and develop a plan.
Some people doubt - never think that they can.
Some people face hurdles and give it their best.
Some people back down when faced with a test.
Some people complain about their miserable lot.
Some people are thankful for all that they've got.
And when it's all over - when it comes to a head,
Some people lost out and some people win.
We all have a choice, we all have a say.
We are spectators in life - or we get in and play.
Whichever we choose, how we handle life's game,
The choices are ours,
No one else is to blame.

Tribulation and sufferings bring about perseverance, and perseverance brings about character, which brings about hope. Romans 5:3

Blessed by Remembering

As another graduation rounds the corner, I am amazed at how fast time flies. Next week is Thanksgiving, and I will be leaving to visit my family and friends in Texas. All in all, I am wondering what it is I have learned, moving into the inner city and working to serve one of the poorest neighborhoods in Tennessee.

First, is that our God is faithful. He has provided opportunities for ministry, yet at the same time, I am realizing I’m not the one who needs to fix. I’m the one who needs to be fixed. My friends at Advance Memphis have taught me that life looks completely different on the side of poverty. Our values clash in several ways. Things I grew up learning are not the things that others learned.

How can you grow up in the same world, but lead such different lives? How is it that we are raised in a culture that forgets the poor and lead lives that bring success for us only? I have had an amazing time getting to know the residents of this neighborhood. They have become my friends.

A lot of our students are at Advance Memphis because they desire something more of this life. As I have led small group, I have learned some of the mistakes they have made in the past that prevents them from finding employment. Several of our students have felonies on their records, which puts a major obstacle in the way of finding employment. One of the most amazing things happened when I was talking with a woman in my small group. I remember talking with her and thinking to myself I don’t know what to tell her. What do you say to a student who has a felony? A felony is a permanent roadblock to success.

Then it hit me, or I should say God revealed to me what a blessing that can be. How many of us are constantly reminded of our sin? Here, she has a tangible reminder of her sin but also a constant reminder of the grace shown by our King. I wish I could be reminded of my own sin each day and be humbled by the love of God.

James 1:24 “For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing.”

I pray that these graduates would be blessed by remembering their past and persevere, being doers of His word.

julie@advancememphis.org

A Unique Scene

At 8:40 this morning, strong smell wafted into my office this morning indicating that someone was using a large amount of cleaner somewhere in the building. I wandered into the classroom to see quite an event. All of the chairs had been placed on the tables, carpet cleaner was sprinkled on the stains, and two of our current class participants were vacuuming.

As I walked into the kitchen, I discovered more acts of service! A third class member was doing dishes and two graduates were preparing lunch for the class.

I have no big thought for the day. The service and selflessness of the community residents here often impress and delights me. This was simply one of those instances.

brandon@advancememphis.org

Justice and Mercy

Earlier this year, former Advance Memphis employee Mike Shaw (above) had an experience--in a local courtroom--that helped him to crystallize his thoughts about justice and mercy. Here are his thoughts:

Justice and Mercy

“He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” Micah 6:8

Throughout my walk with Jesus including my studies at Covenant College, working on the Yakama Indian Reservation and in the inner-city of Memphis, TN, I have wrestled immensely with what it means to act justly and what it means to love mercy and whether or not these two commands contradict each other. Today the Lord revealed to me more clearly what it means and what exactly it is that he has shown.

I went today to witness the trial of a close friend of mine. It was not my first time in a courtroom, but it was the first time I had ever gone to support a friend who had the possibility of being locked away for the better part of his life. Derek (name changed), who I had first met while working at Advance Memphis, was on trial for the possession and distribution of cocaine. My relationship with him began when he came through the job readiness program at Advance, grew while he participated in the bible study I was a part of, but more importantly, flourished simply by being together sharing meals, going to basketball games, and just hanging out. I knew of Derek’s struggle with marijuana as well as his vocation as a drug dealer, both of which he would openly share and seek counsel to escape. Over the eight months that I had known him I saw the gospel of Jesus Christ begin to make sense in his mind and start to affect his actions and choices.

A mutual friend of ours came to Advance one day to tell us that Derek had been arrested and taken to jail. I was disappointed, but not surprised, discouraged, but not defeated. I continued to pray that God would work in his heart and give him the strength to make the changes he needed to make to get on the right track. Throughout the next three months I visited Derek in jail, chatted with him briefly over the phone, and wrote letters to him while he was incarcerated. His guilt in taking and distributing drugs was never in question for me, but after several conversations through the glass, or over the phone, neither was his understanding of the gospel. Being locked up was a wake up call for Derek, and I could see the Lord work through his incarceration to change his life.

Thursday July 9, 2009 was a day I will not forget. I had it written on my calendar for several weeks as the day of Derek’s trial. The day we would find out whether he would receive over 15 years in jail in addition to tens of thousands of dollars in fines, a probation with lesser fines, or something in between. He asked continually that I pray for him and implored me to request the same from the church I attended and where he accepted my invitation to worship on several occasions.

I laid awake that night, and many nights, wondering what it was that I should pray for. Should I ask God for justice—that Derek would be sent to jail for the crimes he committed? Or should I ask God for mercy—that Derek would somehow receive a lesser sentence and be released? Not knowing what to do, I often prayed for both, and that God’s will would be done, or fell asleep praying nothing at all.

I went to watch, to listen, but mainly to support Derek, who feared the worst. Derek’s attorney recognized that I was there for his trial and inquired as to who I was. I told him that I was friend of his client’s and that I also worked at Advance Memphis, where Derek had participated in several programs. I told him about Advance and my relationship with Derek and he asked me if I would testify—not at all what I had planned.

After swearing for God’s help to tell the whole truth, and nervously answering several questions I sat back down. Would my words help set Derek free, or would what I knew further add to the evidence against him? I could do nothing but watch. With nothing else to say, Derek’s attorney made his closing statement. He pointed at me. “I don’t know this man, and I don’t know much about Advance Memphis, but rarely in my time here have I ever seen a family member come to support someone on trial before this court, and never a friend. I don’t know what that means, but I ask that the judge take this into consideration.”

My heart broke when I heard his words. More than once I’ve had men in my office convinced that no one cares whether or not they lived or died. It angered me that men continually face trial alone and so few people care what happens to them. I was encouraged that the attorney recognized my presence, even in his admitted confusion.

It was time for the verdict. The judge looked at Derek and proceeded to harangue him at high volume, pointing to him as the reason for so many deaths in our community and so many problems on our streets. I hurt for Derek as the truths set in about the consequences for his actions and where his life was headed if he continued acting the way he did. “I don’t care about you,” was the judge’s final words. “My job won’t let me care.” After the onslaught, he stood when he was asked to, and received his sentence. Would there be justice? What about mercy? It was then that I realized what justice was and how I was to love mercy.

Justice isn’t Derek receiving the maximum penalty for his crime, selling temporary relief to people who are slaves to drugs, drugs that make them murder, rape, and abuse innocent people around them. Neither would justice be Derek receiving probation, maybe what he deserves for time served and for making the choice to change his life around. No, justice is this: for Derek to know the truth. Justice is Derek seeing the love of his Creator, the God who created him, saved him, raised him, and demands his life everyday. Justice is Derek experiencing the love of Jesus Christ, not just as a sinner, or as a felon, as a burden to society or as a delinquent, but as a human created in the image of God. Justice was a friend sitting in the back of the courtroom, caring about what happened. To act justly is to preach the gospel with our words, and sometimes more importantly, with our actions, that everyone might know the truth, see the truth, and experience the truth: the love of God put to flesh in personal relationships with those who go lifetimes without anyone caring what happens to them. Justice is people getting what they deserve: access to the truth.

Furthermore, mercy isn’t Derek being set free, or receiving the minimum penalty. Mercy is Derek being able to know his Creator and to participate in His work even as a sinner, one who has turned his back on the God who made him. Similarly, mercy is me being able to participate in the coming Kingdom as a man who has sinned against his Creator and is just as guilty as Derek for denying his maker and just as deserving of the worst punishment possible. To love mercy is to put to practice what the Lord has shown us through His son Jesus. We must love mercy enough to grab hold of our gift, our responsibility, our joy, to humbly walk with God to bring about His Kingdom far as the curse is found, in every forgotten corner of our city.

The First Shall Be Last

A couple of days ago, a well known ministry leader in our community payed a short visit to Advance. We began discussing the Hope IV housing program. My wife, daughter, and I live in University Place, which is one of these "rebuilds." It sits where Lamar Terrace used to be. He told me that after a couple years, these properties revert from private management to MHA management. Despite my degree in Economic Community Development, my residence at University Place, and working in the "inner-city," I didn't know this. I felt embarrassed and frustrated with myself because I couldn't "perform" or say the right thing in front of someone I considered to be important and influential.

The next day, as I started Financial Freedom, I asked a class member to pray. He also wanted to share a piece of scripture. I reluctantly conceded; you must understand, I had a lot of material to cover and not much time. He proceeded to read, not a verse, but an entire Psalm. My frustration grew. For him reading was a laborious process.

I began to notice that he was gradually inching toward me. Then this 50 year old man did the unthinkable. He began to point to the words he didn't know and asked me to whisper them so he could continue reading. A 50 year-old man, humbly reading the Word of the LORD by allowing a 23 year-old kid to help him.

Serving with people who are on the margins of society by our traditional standards forces us-forces me-to face aspects of my own brokenness and poverty that I would rather ignore. For me, those areas are my arrogance, my pride, and self-reliance. This 50-year old man, by his humility, shined light into the darkness of my life. We must not forget that the people that our world considers to be outsiders, lowly, irrelevant, poor are at the center of the LORD's coming Kingdom. We ignore them, not only at their expense, but at our own. I am reminded that the Parable of the Rich Young Ruler, in Luke 18, is not a plea from Jesus to serve the poor. It is an invitation for the rich young man to receive healing.

brandon@advancememphis.org