We all love to hear success stories: A junky with a 20 year habit and a criminal record sheet that’s 6 feet long, struggling to eke out an existence with 9 kids on food stamps…one day enters the doors of Advance Memphis, meets Jesus, has all his guilt removed, gets a job, goes to college and has all his problems solved. What a beautiful story, we love to say -- isn’t God good!
We love to tell these stories for obvious reasons, and for good reasons. We love to spread the news about people whose lives have truly changed. We love to dwell on the victories.
But the truth is, for every story like this there are a dozen other stories that make you feel pretty dang hopeless.
Sometimes working at Advance Memphis is like getting paid to ride a roller coaster. We have really high, highs and really low, lows. The highs can last for a month or for a few minutes, but eventually, at some unexpected moment, the ride drops so fast that you literally feel sick to your stomach.
This week was one of those weeks for me. I won’t go into all the twists and turns, but suffice it to say that I’ve had my share of whiplash. (A lot of bad news about people I really care about). This week I’ve felt like my head was pounding against the padding of the cart and that I couldn’t take another moment of it. All I wanted to do was exit the roller coaster. Thank God it’s now past 5:00 on a Friday because that’s what I have the privilege of doing this weekend: getting off the ride even though many of our neighbors ride it every hour of their life 'til the day they die.
My whiplash has reminded me just how much of an anomaly stories like the one above are. This week has also reminded me how much of a struggle it is for an adult from the inner-city to live a new life- a life free of anger, stress, crime, addiction, etc. I often hear people tell me, “All I want in life is a steady job so I can provide for my kids” (When I start asking questions, I find out that this is code for, “I hate selling drugs to keep electricity in the house”). When I hear this, I often think, “Really, is that ALL you want?” It’s because such a life seems so simple and normal to me, but in reality it’s a goal that is completely intangible to many of our city’s residents. It seems crazy to me that someone could have this as their only goal in life and yet find themselves trapped in the same old routine.
This week I’ve found myself thinking about those
who didn’t make it out of the streets...
I’m reminded of my first experience with Advance Memphis, when Steve manipulated me (just kidding, sort of!) into volunteering as a Champion. One of the men in my small group was Lil Herman. I remember the earnestness in his voice as he talked about getting out of the street life. Right after he graduated from Advance he got a job at McDonalds. Man, he was so proud to have this job. The excitement didn’t last long though. He never got full time hours and once child support was taken out of his check, he was living off less than a $100 a week. Soon he was working two jobs: a burger flipper by day and a crack dealer by night. He was completely honest with me about what he was doing, and asked “what do you think I should do?” Of course I advised him to stop selling drugs, but I didn’t have an answer for how else he could take care of his family. A couple days after he cried with me about feeling stuck, I heard that he was in a shootout and one of the stray bullets he fired hit a random kid walking by in the neck. Herman’s now serving a life sentence for murder.
I’m also reminded of Tyree. After he graduated he would come to Advance just to take out the trash and serve. He and his girlfriend cooked dinner for Haley and I and had us over for dinner. He’s now serving a 15 year sentence.
I’m reminded of Dewayne who is probably the most fruitful relationship I’ve ever had. For about a year he walked to Advance at 6:30am to have 1 on 1 bible study with me. He got involved in the church I attended, spent the night at my house numerous times, met most of my extended family, and painted my house. He’s also being sentenced for 15 years in federal prison.
I’m reminded of Karey, Lakendric, Parrish, Honey, Larry, and plenty of others who are currently in jail. And I’m reminded of many, many others who are headed to jail or in a casket if the Lord doesn’t intervene soon.
These men are by no means innocent victims of their environment, unable to control their decisions; however, they all have this in common: they came to Advance desperately desiring to escape the streets only to find themselves back in them in one way or another. I’m not going to pretend like I fully understand why this is the case; I don’t get it most of the time. I’m also not pretending like I know all the practical solutions for guys like Lil Herman whose chief ambition is to have a place for his kids to sleep at night (“Get a job” always sounded like sound advice till I realized it’s not that simple when you’re a black man with a criminal record). I wish I had all the answers, but I don’t. I do know, however, that God has called me to “always be prepared to give an answer for the hope you profess; do this with gentleness and respect” (1 Peter 3:15). And I know that I can’t fulfill this charge if I don’t get back on the roller coaster and carry some of their burdens.
And so this is my resolve this week: Get back on the ride. Scream and laugh and cry with my neighbors as I travel with them through the twists and turns of their lives, all the while calling them to have hope, that there is a way out because of Jesus.
Won’t you join me? You don’t have to have all the answers; you just have to be willing to get on the ride. Are you willing?
Andrew Vincent
avincent@advancememphis.org
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